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Understanding Women

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Some biker humor . . . thanks to one of Valerie's golfing buddies Maxine . . . what Dad would have called a "shaggy dog" story:


A man was riding his Indian motorcycle down 101 in California, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."


The biker pulled over and said, "Please Lord, build a bridge to Hawai'i so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."


The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy."


The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"

Edited by TallRider
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In the recent release on Indian Roads, I talked about Eamon and I sitting out on the balcony at work, and his comment that a girl wearing green stockings reminded him of asparagus spears. That's where that conversation ended in the article, but in reality it went a bit further... we decided that there must be a group of men that run the women's fashion business, and each year they have a competition... to see who can design the most ridiculous, impractical, and uncomfortable thing that women will actually wear. I don't know what the prize is for winning, but every year women's clothing gets increasingly outlandish.


You gotta admit, platform boots with a 7" needle point heel are probably damned uncomfortable. A few years ago my wife had a pair of boots like that.. and I took her to dinner one night at the Stagecoach Inn at Manitou Springs.. in the middle of winter, ice covered parking lot, and she had to walk up a hill to get to the restaurant. Not the most practical footwear.


My wife often says that women wear this stuff for us. I maintain that this is untrue - they wear this outlandish shit to impress other women. Personally I think women look better when they're comfortable, Nice jeans, maybe some hiking boots, and a flannel shirt - looks great to me.


A long time ago Harrison Ford was in a movie about getting stuck on a desert island with some pretentious chick. His one line from that movie that rang true for me was... you (women) don't need all the makeup, scented candles, and fancy clothes to get us (men) in the mood, all you need to do is show up, and we're happy.

Edited by KenB
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My wife says that all she needs to do is show me some naked. She's right.

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...naked with those boots and a pearl necklace...



So I was in the garage taking a break. I had just reviewed a chart in my psych class detailing men's' and women's thought processes. The male chart was basically linear - cause, effect, decision. The female diagram began with a stimuli and proceeded through a bunch of circles including emotions, extraneous stuff, etc, and eventually reached a conclusion - kind of a circular maze. So my wife comes to see me in the garage and asks, "Do you know what I think?" I recounted my psych lesson to her with the diagrams and amidst great laughter told her, "I have NO IDEA what you think."

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  • 4 weeks later...

I likes dis body. Not mine the picture above. Been married 44 yr come Oct and I ain't figured out dis woman yet.

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