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The ant and the grasshopper~


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THE OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summerlong, building his house

and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the

Summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or

shelter, so he dies out

in the cold.

 

 

 

 

THE MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house

and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool

and laughs and dances and plays the

Summer away.

 

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands

to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others

are cold and starving.

 

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering

grasshoppernext to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table

filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be,

that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper isallowed to suffer

so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and everybody

crieswhen they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

 

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's housewhere the

news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has

the group kneel down to pray to God for the

grasshopper's sake. Tom Daschle &John Kerry exclaim in an interview with

Peter Jennings that

the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for

an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

 

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper

Act,"retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for

failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing

left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the

government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a

defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of

federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of

single-parent welfare recipients.

 

The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing

up the last bits of the

ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the

ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant

has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now

abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once

peaceful neighborhood.

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Another Version...

 

THE MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The selfish grasshopper thinks he's

a fool and laughs and goes on vacation and dances and plays the Summer away.

 

Come winter, the dishonest grasshopper wins a slanted presidential election

and is appointed president of the grasshoppers and calls a press conference

and demands

to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others

are cold and starving. The grasshopper also claims that the ant is a

terrorist and has Weapons of Mass Destruction in his home, knowing full well

that the ant would be arrested under the 1000 page Patriot Act and he could

take over the ants home.

When in reality the grasshoppers daddy had cut a deal with the ant back in

the 90's and was getting rich off the oil reserves "under" the ants house.

 

The grasshopper called an emergency meeting of the Senate Armed Forces

Committee and declared war on the tiny ant under the pretense that the ant

was armed and dangerous.

 

A fleet of Black Hawk Helicopters were immediately dispatched to the ants

home and all of his family and friends were destroyed within minutes.

 

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the devastation.

Grasshopper next to a video waving a flag And the ants burnt body in his now

burning home. No Weapons of Mass Destructions were found...Only Oil.

America is stunned by the story. How can this be,

that in a country of such wealth, this rich grasshopper is allowed to lie

to the public kill the ant and his family and get away with it.

Ashcroft  the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and everybody

cries when they sing, "When Eagles Soar."

 

The grasshopper speaks of several more terrorist attacks in front of the

ant's burning home. The grasshopper raises the terrorist alert to Red in an effort to

convince the public that he was doing the right thing by killing the ants even though he

never found any WMD's.

 

Richard Clarke of the ants exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the grasshopper has gotten rich off the back of the ants, and both call for

an immediate tax cut for the ants to "buy their silence".

 

Finally, the grasshopper  gets Condoleezza Rice to draft the Anti-Ant

Act,"retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The Act passes before Congress and all the remaining ants are rounded up and

forced to go to work for the grasshoppers.

The oil is seized by the grasshoppers families company

"The Carlyle Group"

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/pearly/html...sh-carlyle.html

and the president directs his vice grasshopper to send his company Halliburton

http://www.halliburton.com/   in to rebuild the ants house while charging

outrageous prices for every commodity so he too could get rich. He is also

promised by the president of the grasshoppers that no other contractor would

be allowed to bid for the reconstruction of the ants home.

And that all of the ants would be taxed to pay the lions share of the

reconstruction.

 

And the grasshoppers lived happily ever after, "Until".. another grasshopper

that lost one of his friends in the ants home did a documentary of the

grasshoppers deception and lies and caused the grasshoppers to be voted out

of office.

 

THE END   http://www.pantsonfire.net/

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Another Version...

 

THE MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The selfish grasshopper thinks he's

a fool and laughs and goes on vacation and dances and plays the Summer away.

 

Come winter, the dishonest grasshopper wins a slanted presidential election

and is appointed president of the grasshoppers and calls a press conference

and demands

to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others

are cold and starving. The grasshopper also claims that the ant is a

terrorist and has Weapons of Mass Destruction in his home, knowing full well

that the ant would be arrested under the 1000 page Patriot Act and he could

take over the ants home.

When in reality the grasshoppers daddy had cut a deal with the ant back in

the 90's and was getting rich off the oil reserves "under" the ants house.

 

The grasshopper called an emergency meeting of the Senate Armed Forces

Committee and declared war on the tiny ant under the pretense that the ant

was armed and dangerous.

 

A fleet of Black Hawk Helicopters were immediately dispatched to the ants

home and all of his family and friends were destroyed within minutes.

 

CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the devastation.

Grasshopper next to a video waving a flag And the ants burnt body in his now

burning home. No Weapons of Mass Destructions were found...Only Oil.

America is stunned by the story. How can this be,

that in a country of such wealth, this rich grasshopper is allowed to lie

to the public kill the ant and his family and get away with it.

Ashcroft  the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,and everybody

cries when they sing, "When Eagles Soar."

 

The grasshopper speaks of several more terrorist attacks in front of the

ant's burning home. The grasshopper raises the terrorist alert to Red in an effort to

convince the public that he was doing the right thing by killing the ants even though he

never found any WMD's.

 

Richard Clarke of the ants exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the grasshopper has gotten rich off the back of the ants, and both call for

an immediate tax cut for the ants to "buy their silence".

 

Finally, the grasshopper  gets Condoleezza Rice to draft the Anti-Ant

Act,"retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The Act passes before Congress and all the remaining ants are rounded up and

forced to go to work for the grasshoppers.

The oil is seized by the grasshoppers families company

"The Carlyle Group"

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/pearly/html...sh-carlyle.html

and the president directs his vice grasshopper to send his company Halliburton

http://www.halliburton.com/   in to rebuild the ants house while charging

outrageous prices for every commodity so he too could get rich. He is also

promised by the president of the grasshoppers that no other contractor would

be allowed to bid for the reconstruction of the ants home.

And that all of the ants would be taxed to pay the lions share of the

reconstruction.

 

And the grasshoppers lived happily ever after, "Until".. another grasshopper

that lost one of his friends in the ants home did a documentary of the

grasshoppers deception and lies and caused the grasshoppers to be voted out

of office.

 

THE END   http://www.pantsonfire.net/

BULLSHIT!

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