Dr. Mark Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I am duty on all weekend in the ED, and this is a full moon weekend. Now, that's normally batshit crazy, but I have a feeling that this is going to be much worse than usual. Came on duty at 6 am this morning...at 6:07 a psychotic, delusional, suicidal schizophrenic patient strolls out of our patient bathroom drizzling blood on the floor, and casually walks back to his room...leaving a trail of blood clots and blood all down the hallway. He has carved up his leg, but good, with a bunch of parallel lacerations down his leg, has hit at least two vessels, and is splattering blood everywhere. I chase him down the hallway to his room, and yelling, "Dude! LAY DOWN, I gotta look at that...you're bleeding everywhere!.." He calmly looks at me, smiles, pulls a razor out of his pocket...and cuts his own throat. Our in-ER cop is standing next to me....and he freaking FAINTS. Bang, Smacks his head on the floor. Down for the count. It's gonna be a very long weekend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longrider Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Did he do it right the first time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHIEF DOC 99 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Gruesome...leaves little to the imagination. That would be shockingly tuff to witness firsthand. At least he didn't attack or physically harm anyone else. Doc, I don't envy your day to day dealings with these walking woundeds at all. Maybe double every loser's psych meds immediately. Man, the nightmares you must have! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maldev Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Fuck me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whadayawant Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Fuck me. ALWAYS TALKIN' ROMANCE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XV62 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Sounds like the gene pool got thinned a little anyhow.................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airpirate Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Natural selection 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycorn Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 dude.... get your helmet . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Diesel Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 I am duty on all weekend in the ED, and this is a full moon weekend. Now, that's normally batshit crazy, but I have a feeling that this is going to be much worse than usual. Came on duty at 6 am this morning...at 6:07 a psychotic, delusional, suicidal schizophrenic patient strolls out of our patient bathroom drizzling blood on the floor, and casually walks back to his room...leaving a trail of blood clots and blood all down the hallway. He has carved up his leg, but good, with a bunch of parallel lacerations down his leg, has hit at least two vessels, and is splattering blood everywhere. I chase him down the hallway to his room, and yelling, "Dude! LAY DOWN, I gotta look at that...you're bleeding everywhere!.." He calmly looks at me, smiles, pulls a razor out of his pocket...and cuts his own throat. Our in-ER cop is standing next to me....and he freaking FAINTS. Bang, Smacks his head on the floor. Down for the count. It's gonna be a very long weekend. So what kind of sandwich did you make? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHIEF DOC 99 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 So what kind of sandwich did you make? Living proof lawyers are reptilian through n through~proud of it too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scalper38 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Well, the skitzo took care of himself. Did the cop end up bleeding all over due to bustin his head open?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA CHFTN Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Doc, You did the best you could for what you had to work with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cochise71 Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 GOOD TIMES!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Mark Posted November 15, 2013 Author Share Posted November 15, 2013 I was right. It's been a total shit storm all day. Yeah, I was able to fix Razor Boy: knocked out, sewed up, admitted in four point restraints. Cop has a goose egg the size of Detroit, and some brand spanking new staples in his noggin. It's been downhill from there...my waiting room is SRO, and I am slamming down lunch and typing this one handed. Back to the fun. The glamorous life in medicine. Robert said it best: Fuck me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickdanewf Posted November 15, 2013 Share Posted November 15, 2013 Jeezus Mark...that's a tough one! ....Gotta respect you guys for what you do...nurses too.... my families full of em! ....and my oldest pride and joy is gonna be a Doc to boot! ....and I thought throwing a connecting rod out of a 10,000 BHP Main Engine was a having a bad morning!...fk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LabRat Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 That's why you get paid the big bucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hasbin Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I was right. It's been a total shit storm all day. Yeah, I was able to fix Razor Boy: knocked out, sewed up, admitted in four point restraints. Cop has a goose egg the size of Detroit, and some brand spanking new staples in his noggin. It's been downhill from there...my waiting room is SRO, and I am slamming down lunch and typing this one handed. Back to the fun. The glamorous life in medicine. Robert said it best: Fuck me. Sounds like you & Robert need to get a room together... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Mark Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 ....and I thought throwing a connecting rod out of a 10,000 BHP Main Engine was a having a bad morning!...fk! Mick, I was on an icebreaker. Throwing a connecting rod in the main IS a bad day, LMAO! Just now getting home. Most days are not like this, but when they are, Katy bar the door. The damn air evac service is LOVING my ass today. I probably paid for their damn chopper. Before lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chief Otto Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Full moon is true! Better half ER nurse for 28 years. Crazy stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longrider Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Full moon is true! Better half ER nurse for 28 years. Crazy stuff! Wtf is that your porn star name chief Otto lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lschultz Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Fuck me. Well been over. :rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlvrStrk Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Dang crazy world - don't those schizo's know they needed to wait a few more days to do crap like that. Hang in there Doc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prof. O Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Time for a reality show, Damn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Satdiver Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Must have been a recipient of Obama Care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indiantoo Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 Fuck me. Least let me buy you a drink first Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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