jmaher Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 The End of the World is potentially coming up on December 21st. Should this happen, are you worried about your pets? For a mere $750.00 non-refundable deposit per pet (aquarium based pets are only $100.00 each with the exception of saltwater based pets being $250.00 each), I will take care of your pets in the post-apocalyptic world should you not make it. What you will need to do is arrange all of your earthly possessions to signed over to me in the event of the apocalypse effective December 22nd when I will start my caretaking. This will allow me to barter/trade them legally for whatever food and medical care your pets will need. I will have a competent group of minions working for me that will treat your pets like gold, giving them plenty of attention and exercise. Should you wake up on the 22nd and all is good, then the contract will be null and void. In the case you survive the apocalypse, you will be welcome to work for me to help care for the pets of those less fortunate that did not make it. We are talking about to safety, security, comfort and happiness of your pets. I am doing this because I CARE, so don’t pass up this opportunity to go into the apocalyptic afterlife knowing your pets will be take care of. This offer is limited to the first 500 pets. Contact me NOW! Free with this offer, I will ensure your Indian Motorcycle is properly enshrined (and occasionally ridden....by me) so that all survivors will know what true art looks like. Select other models from other makes such as Ducati, Triumph, Aprilia, Vincent and Excelsior will also be similarly treated. Joe For the case of this offer, “Apocalypse”, “Apocalyptic event” and all related terms shall be defined as mass human kill off, complete breakdown of society worldwide and worldwide mass destruction. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Te Heuheu Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Do you take wives as pets? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prof. O Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 Ouch!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Mark Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 I work with someone who actually believes that stuff. He took the month off after the 21st. I can't wait for January. Assuming the world doesn't end, I am going to rag his ass till it bleeds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blu Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) I'll send you my girlfriend's kid, I understand him when he speaks about as well as any dog so I think that qualifies him as a pet. He also likes to sit at the foot of the bed and has table manners similar to most 4 legged friends. Please bill me with 30 day terms. Expect delivery any minute. One question, you mention "minions" in your advertisement. Where would one obtain a set of "minions"?. I always wanted some to do my bidding and perhaps my landscaping, evil deeds and other odd jobs. Craigslist perhaps? Edited December 7, 2012 by Blu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHIEF DOC 99 Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 12/21/12 beginning 2/21/13 peak activity 4/21/13 end of Niribu influence Life holds few guarentees... Thanks for the offer Colorado J, but dogs and hayburners will be handy to have around if/when SHF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycorn Posted December 7, 2012 Share Posted December 7, 2012 somehow i dont think riding less and paying more attention [i didn kno we had another end of the world coming...] will help to improve my wellbeing in this case ignorance really is bliss and i dont have any pets... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmaher Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Do you take wives as pets? Depends on many factors. Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmaher Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 Assuming the world doesn't end, I am going to rag his ass till it bleeds. Ummmmm.....no comment. Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmaher Posted December 7, 2012 Author Share Posted December 7, 2012 One question, you mention "minions" in your advertisement. Where would one obtain a set of "minions"?. I always wanted some to do my bidding and perhaps my landscaping, evil deeds and other odd jobs. Craigslist perhaps? Be better armed than most. Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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