Gyroscopic Stabilizers To Be Mandatory

[CHIEF DOC 99]

The Government has singled out Motorcycles once again for regulation...

 

They've attempted bans on everything from excessive horsepower to distracting chrome finishes, but the U.S. Government's safety crusade is far from finished. Next on the agenda? A bill from the Department of Transportation that enforces the installation of so-called gyroscopic stabilizers to all production motorcycles.

 

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," said DOT spokesperson Melvin P. Meyers in a statement, "Motorcycles are inherently unstable machines responsible for too many casualties. We tried enforcing trike training and that didn't work," he added, "so our next battle for safety will be on the technological front."

The government solution involves installing a standardized piece of equipment called a "gyroscopic stabilizer," which embeds a small module with internal components that spin at up to 30,000 rpm. The package, which costs approximately $149 per unit and piggybacks onto the engine near the bike's center of gravity, draws power from the electrical system and has a calming effect on the motorcycle's kinetic dynamics, making it harder to fall over at speed.

 

However, unintended side effects have also encouraged wanton hooliganism. "I put one on my Gixxer," says stunter Jason Flipsalot, "and man, I could hold wheelies forever!" Other anecdotal reports indicate enhanced confidence during extreme lean angles, the elimination of steering wobble during hard acceleration, and a pleasant saddle hum that makes male motorcyclists reluctant to dismount, and females begging for rides.

 

When confronted with news about the grassroots movement to install control units that enable gravity-defying positions to be held, Meyers simply said, "We've already caught wind of those claims, and will be announcing another solution shortly."

[Blu]

The Government has singled out Motorcycles once again for regulation...

 

They've attempted bans on everything from excessive horsepower to distracting chrome finishes, but the U.S. Government's safety crusade is far from finished. Next on the agenda? A bill from the Department of Transportation that enforces the installation of so-called gyroscopic stabilizers to all production motorcycles.

 

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," said DOT spokesperson Melvin P. Meyers in a statement, "Motorcycles are inherently unstable machines responsible for too many casualties. We tried enforcing trike training and that didn't work," he added, "so our next battle for safety will be on the technological front."

The government solution involves installing a standardized piece of equipment called a "gyroscopic stabilizer," which embeds a small module with internal components that spin at up to 30,000 rpm. The package, which costs approximately $149 per unit and piggybacks onto the engine near the bike's center of gravity, draws power from the electrical system and has a calming effect on the motorcycle's kinetic dynamics, making it harder to fall over at speed.

 

However, unintended side effects have also encouraged wanton hooliganism. "I put one on my Gixxer," says stunter Jason Flipsalot, "and man, I could hold wheelies forever!" Other anecdotal reports indicate enhanced confidence during extreme lean angles, the elimination of steering wobble during hard acceleration, and a pleasant saddle hum that makes male motorcyclists reluctant to dismount, and females begging for rides.

 

When confronted with news about the grassroots movement to install control units that enable gravity-defying positions to be held, Meyers simply said, "We've already caught wind of those claims, and will be announcing another solution shortly."

 

I get it Doc, April's Fools! Good one

[IndianTrue]

Sadly when it comes to the rider being the cause of accidents it is usually because of rounding corners to fast or T-boning an idiot that pulls out in front of you. After you get up to 10 mph or more you would have to work very hard to lose balance. Could be April Fools for now but something as stupid as this will come down the line sooner or later. My daughter was surprised for a minute this morning when I told her someone just drove away with her car, when she figured it out she responded with I'm pregnant. I would say she won that fools trick this year, even though I knew it wasn't true I still got hit with the jolt before my brain came around. Happy April everyone riding is here. Ride safe