1912 Article From Excelsior"you And The Motorcycle"

[Phil"the grizz']

You need to imagine yourself back 99 years ago. Great little piece, hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I.

 

YOU and the Motorcycle - By nature man is a slow moving animal. His legs are short. He was never built for speed. The horse and a thousand other animals have it on him in matters of rapidity and endurance. But out of the whole lot - man alone has a consuming desire to get about quickly, to cut out distance, to be everywhere at the same time. Providence constructed him so - and then turned around and gave him Brain with which to work out his own mileage- his own methods of artificial transit- to make his mile shorter and his hour longer.

 

Providence gave Necessity and Brain to Man. Necessity is the mother of invention. Brain is the father. The first child, the Transportation branch of the invention family, was the oxcart. It helped man about - gave him a little more scope. So on, till Steam was born - then Gasoline Motor entered the family - and man has a greater and greater number of slaves to help his solve his transit problem.

 

Now man laughs at the dial of his watch. Methusaleh is the 1000 years he lived never covered the gound man travels in one hour. Man likes to be independent - likes to change his mind and his direction when the notion strikes him. He likes to be governed solely by his own inclination and without the interference of others. He likes to be a one man institution.

 

The motor cycle makes of you a real one man institution. It turns quickly. It goes straight. Gets you there, wherever that "there" happens to be - and does it without the help of anyone save yourself. It is the last mechanical word in the history of self determination.

 

MAKE THE WORLD YOUR PLAYGROUND

 

Ask any of the fellows on top who have pushed their meal tickets up into the table d'hote class. They'll tell you that every man, whether he be a clerk or magnate, professional man or farmer, banker or laborer would be happier if he could make himself felt over just a little bit bigger area. This is his business instinct. Every man would live longer and more fully if he could make the fields and the country, just outside his boundary, his. There are woods and streams beyond your mile that ought to be yours. They were put there for your enjoyment. You have a right to the purged, clean air. Are you getting it? Or are you living in the soot and the grime of "down town"? Business keeps you there - you say. Jot this down for future reference. You should boss your business or you job - be its master. Don't let it make your schedule altogether. Put in a reasonable number of daily hours, and then save a few of the remaining twenty-four for recreation and pleasure. This plan, of itself, is really good head work - good management. Use your brains to conserve your body and your health. Nervous energy is you most priceless earthly asset. Save it. Accumulate it.

 

Replenish your zip tank every day with a spin in the country on a motor cycle. Get out in the open where there is no boundary. Enlarge your horizon. Its radius is all up to you. With a motor cycle you can stick to your job till the day's work is finished and then in fifteen minutes put yourself out in the wide open. An hour on the road will blow the clinkers out of your lungs. See the fields once every twenty-four hours - and all day every Sunday and on vacation. A motor cycle will make this possible. You can beat it out of some heretofore distant stream, and fish a while before breakfast - if you own a motor cycle. You can be at the ball park, rooting with the bunch almost instantly after you have climbed out of you overalls or closed you roll top - if you have a motor cycle. Air spray your brain by using a motor cycle. Come down to work clean and fresh, on a motorcycle, and you will attack it with a vim born of fresh air and red blood. A motor cycle gives you snap. Men with motor cycles are live wires. They do things. They are well, and they do their work well. Their competitors fear them, because they are effective, powerful, healthy chaps. And this effectiveness is operative over a wide field, because the man with the motor cycle has no mile. He lives everywhere. His zone is practically unlimited.

 

THE MOTOR CYCLE AND THE OTHER WAYS

 

The motor cycle is exclusive. It needs no track. It tolerates no interference and takes its orders only from one man - and that man is you. It is a health builder instead of a health breaker. And best of all, it gets you there on time. When compared with any other kind of vehicle the motor cycle has no equal for the man who want to get about quickly and easily. The street car runs on its own schedule, and, at the best, is subject to delays. It is usually crowded. It is always more or less stuffy, oppressive - and disagreeable. Wherever there's a path, the motor cycle can go, and on vacation days and Sundays, when you need it most, unlike the street car, it is never crowded, - it's "Kumfort-Kushion" seat is always reserved for you.

 

The horse has received half his set back into the ranks of the obsolete, at the hand of the motor cycle. The first cost of a good horse exceeds that of a motor cycle, and its maintenance is decidedly higher. The horse must be fed and cared for. Give the motor cycle a bit of gasoline and a mite of oil and it is at your service for a mile or a hundred miles. The horse is slow, - the motor cycle swift. The horse has amind of his own. You are the motor cycle's. The horse must be shielded - it is subject to exhaustion; you feel for it, and half the pleasure of your drive is spoiled through consideration for the brute which pulls you. No so with the motor cycle. It has no nerves; it never falters; it is as willing at the day's end as it was in the early hours of the morning. The horse stops on the bad hills - the motor cycle eats them alive.

 

Anyone can bring the grocery, the hardware, the post office, or the bank to his door - if he has a motor cycle. The man who has a farm, near town, needs no longer rely on an overseer - he can "motor cycle" down every morning, give his orders, and get back to his town job on time. The man who lives in the country, can beat it to town in a few minutes, any time he needs to replace a part on any piece of machinery which may have happened to go bad. And every time he goes to town he does not tie up the farm work by taking a horse from the plow. And then, if he happens to be a young ma, a motor cycle will give him vast fields for new pleasures. It will be as easy to go into the next county on Sundays as he formerly dound driving ahlf dozen miles. "She" will enjoy his visits more, too, because he will be with her an hour earlier and can stay an hour later. Gasoline is Cupid's best friend, and the motor cycle is the little god's choice of gasoline gigs.

 

As an economic vehicle, about town, large public service corporations are flocking to the motor cycle. The "trouble" man, who rides a motor cycle can repair your phone while the man who depends on the cars is waiting down town on a corner. Parcel delivery is best and most quickly handled by motorcycle. Uncle Sam realizes what the motor cycle means to his special delivery department. Messengers on motor cycles get most all the business. Police departments, the country over, are adopting the motor cycle. And the newest and most dreaded enemy of the law breaker is the motor cycle "cop." The newspaper reporter, with a motor cycle, gets the scoops. The grocery, which mounts its order clerks on motor cycles, extends its trade and gives the best service. The twentieth century has heard the call of the motor cycle and answered it. Even the automobile has been forced to admit that is has a real peer in its agile little contemporary.

 

MORE PEPPER SALTS DOWN YOUR JOB

 

to illustrate the wonderful possibilities of the motor cycle, let us suppose you happen to be a down town chap with a reasonable income. Every day finds you just a little more dust and soot clogged - with just a little less pepper, which means that you are a trifle more handicapped physically and mentally and therefore not able to deliver your rated horse power. The fellow at the next desk or the next bench has his eye on the job you are trying to build up to. He knows it. You know it. It is goig to be a silent fight to the finish - this is every day American life. Your head must be clear, your hand steady, and your judgement cold and reliable. This ideal mental and physical poise comes from one thing only - perfect health. And perfect health grows only out where the field are. All right. What's the answer" A motor cycle for you. Isn't that a fact? Move out. Get the air. Build your body. Be a better machine than the other fellow.

 

Suppose you have gotte your motor cycle and moved out where the air is better - you can do it now, you know, and still get down to work on time.

 

Here is a little schedule for you - not that it is the best. It is simply given to suggest to you what can be done with a motor cycle.

 

Up at six thirty.

A five mile spin in the country before breakfast.

Back in twenty minutes, allowing time for dressing, etc.

You have two big health lungs under your shirt, both full of ozone; color in your cheeks that wasn't there yesterday, red blood in your veins, anf an appetite like a horse.

Seven thirty - you are off for work with fight in you eye - ready to meet the old world on his homegrounds and make his say "Uncle."

You feel fresh and clean - for there are motor cycles as clean as inclosed coupes.

Eight o'clock - you are on the job like a glutton. Let them bring on their perplexities, their trying moments. You are equal to anything, you have absorbed enough horse power to take you over any hill that the boss can take in his big limousine.

All day long you go ahead cutting and slashing.

At five o'closk you have a hundred per cent day of you back track and a song in your heart. That is satisfaction. The other fellow wonders what has gotten into you. Let him wonder.

Home to dinner, on your motor cycle, then an hour or two in the wide open, and then to bed where you will sleep like a six month old child.

The next day you repeat the dose - put another dent in old Nemesis.

Now multiply this one hundred per cent working day of yours by six, just to get an idea of what you can do for yourself in a wee, after you have taken to the motor cycle.

Multiply this day by twenty-eight. Figure out where you will stand at the end of the month, and then multiply it by 12. This gives you a line on your first big motor cycle year.

 

It means success - a roll top and push buttons, if you care for those things.

The other fellow has been lost in your dust.

Is this picture overdrawn?

We think not. It's all founded on straight physical fact - the kind your father taught you.

To be a man you must have beef op you sleeves, and you can't get it unless you go out where the beef grows - out in the country where the motor cycle plants you.

The motor cycle rids you of the time and mile consideration. Nobody can deny that. If it is an Excelsior it will land you surely at your destination, and as clean as if you had just jumped out of a band box.

For the sake of your health, your chances, your balance at the bank, your tomorrow - get a motor cycle.

A motor cycle will take you up on Easy Street.

 

HOW TO JUDGE A MOTOR CYCLE

 

The money you's spending for a motor cycle is good American money - work 100 cents on the dollar. See that the motor cycle you guy gives you your money's worth.

Your are buying a machine to use - and you want one that won't use you. Than means you want a reliable and economical machine - one that always gets you "there" and "back again" and whose up-keep you can afford to keep up.

You haven't a rubber spine - you want a machine that is comfortable. Speed - how slow as well as how fast you can go - is an important consideration.

You'll want a machine to serve for business and pleasure, one you can ride on all occasions and always look presentable.

And last of all you want a machine that is so simple and easy to understand that you have nothing to do but enjoy it.

[Phil"the grizz']

I hope I did this right. If not I'll be really pissed after typing that whole thing for Grizz. You all better enjoy! We all need to replenish the zip tank everyday. Mrs. G

[Phil"the grizz']

What she said!