Making The Most Of Retirement

[jag1046]

AfterI retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get inand get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves tobrowse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the localTarget.

 

 

Dear Mrs. Harris,

 

Over the past six months, your husband hascaused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior andhave been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against yourhusband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our videosurveillance cameras.

 

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms andrandomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice onthe floor leading to the women's restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and toldher in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. Thiscaused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimandfrom her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causingmanagement to lose time and costing the company money.

 

5.. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and triedto put a bag of M&Ms on layaway..

 

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' signto a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the campingdepartment and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they wouldbring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty childrenobliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they couldhelp him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave mealone?' EMTs were called.

 

9.. September 4: Looked right into the securitycamera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in thehunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the storesuspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, hepracticed his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and whenpeople browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 21: When an announcement came overthe loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSEVOICES AGAIN!'

 

And last, but not least:

 

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shutthe door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paperin here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

[BONMYI]

Suspect this retiree is named Johnny, I believe he

has been banned for similar occurances from Walmart too...

 

 

Dave

[daleg3556]

If it makes you feel any better my wife just pointed out an article to me in one of her fitness magazines where a study was done showing people who shop live longer. It was probably funded with Obama stimulus money?

[Doc Loco]

If it makes you feel any better my wife just pointed out an article to me in one of her fitness magazines where a study was done showing people who shop live longer. It was probably funded with Obama stimulus money?

 

Count your blessings...

 

Maybe soon those who shop are those still able to afford food...So they do live longer than others not as fortunate.

 

Jobs are not multiplying...every week someone new tries to sell their Chief to make a few house payments, rent checks or whatever.

 

Hope it picks up soon.

[injun46]

Count your blessings...

 

Maybe soon those who shop are those still able to afford food...So they do live longer than others not as fortunate.

 

Jobs are not multiplying...every week someone new tries to sell their Chief to make a few house payments, rent checks or whatever.

 

Hope it picks up soon.

 

I believe it'll pick up in '12 when we get Osama out of the white house. JMHO

AND, when they quit spending money on stuff like this

Edited July 18, 2011 by injun46

[Airpirate]

[daleg3556]

I believe it'll pick up in '12 when we get Osama out of the white house. JMHO

AND, when they quit spending money on stuff like this

I don't want people to suffer, but part of me wants the economy to continue to suck until Nov. 2012. That is the only way we will get rid of Obama, and we will all be better off in the long term if that happens.

[Bish]

NOBAMA! NOBAMA! NOBAMA! Now that is change I can live with!!!

[joel3078]

I don't see very many used KM bikes for sale. Gilroys on the other hand are a dime a dozen right now. Gilroys will soon be 3rd generation red headed step children after Polaris releases the new updated Chief version and additional models down the road. I'm willing to bet the Polaris version is a waaaay better bike than a rebuilt Gilroy and that next step up in refinement and reliability vs. a KM.

 

Lots of Indians are for sale now due to an even further drop in value in a couple of years. The new Polaris Indian line in 2014 will be 20-30K vs. 26K to 36K for a current 2011 new KM Indian. This is killing Gilroy resale value. I just went through it. KM resale value is still holding up pretty good however. I know I just blurted off a bunch of statements of fact however they are really my guesses and opinions. Wait a couple years and you guys can have fun telling me how far off I was.