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Second worst night of my career


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I got called to assist with a pedestrian fatality in the north end of the county. A mother and two year old child were struck and killed crossing Coastal Highway.

Five hours later I made it back home. Ate some Lucky Charms (they aren't so "lucky") and got called again. I thought she was making an ignorant joke as she asked me if I wanted to do it again. Deputy and Fire Chief called us out to the south end for another double fatal. This was a mother and four year old child.

I cried at the first one,off to the side,and cried on the way to the second one. I am wide awake at almost 3 a.m. so I wandered over here to give me a break from my reports.

Please say a prayer for these families and for the drivers who's lives will be forever altered.

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Done deal.

I'm sorry you had to see that but am thankful those families had someone like you watching over them.

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Done.

 

That truly sucks for everyone involved.

Alisa, dealing with back to back tragedies like that will give you PTSD, for sure.

Know that you were needed though...it helps.

 

-Doc

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God bless you Alisa!! My Hats off to you.. I feel sure that you will be truly blessed for your actions, N services you provided.. Thanks for sharing your experiance.. Part of the healing.. Prayers to all involved.. Dave

Edited by BONMYI
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Thanks for the support. I finally geared down enough that I thought I could go to bed without tossing around and waking up Bud. I made it to the pillow and started crying again. I fell asleep crying with B-love patting on me. I was exhausted. I spoke to him but have no idea what about.

I have been doing follow up all morning. I am a seasoned veteran and in fifteen years I can count on one hand the times I have cried at a scene (always behind the scenes or under my hat and shades). There are times when it just hits hard. What is funny is that the folks who I am providing with Peer Support staff from Fire/Police/EMS ranks are calling me to see how I am. I have worked with many of them for years and know alot of them outside of our work roles. We have our own network. Some called to make sure I knew to come to the "Turtle" for liquid debriefing. It is one of our local sports bars and is heavily frequented by many of our fine FF's. Not always good as some try to flush out their pain with alcohol. It works for awhile but I never recommend it for more than a three day stretch B)

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:huh: ..... :I-Agree[1]: ....no sermonizing here.I found the dew drop left me with waisted heartbeats,and continue to find that the problem lies with my view of the picture....if you can make a small change in that,it's a lot.Not real news...just my hunch :outdoor:
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:huh: ..... :I-Agree[1]: ....no sermonizing here.I found the dew drop left me with waisted heartbeats,and continue to find that the problem lies with my view of the picture....if you can make a small change in that,it's a lot.Not real news...just my hunch :outdoor:

Thanks, Gary. It is fortunate that I have always been able to maintain a take it or leave it attitude with alcohol. Many in my family are not as fortunate and I have some close up experience as to what alcohol can do if used as a frequent way to cope (or not cope) with what life throws at you.

I have developed the mindset that I didn't cause it (fatalities in this case) and can't cure it (I have no resurrecting powers that I am aware of). I usually just do whatever I can do at the time and then put my thoughts about the incident behind me.

Somehow with children it has a way of creeping up. I saw one of the girls' shoes about 20 feet from her tiny body. That and seeing the damage to the van naturally led me to think of impact. The medics always tell the families that they "died on impact" in these situations unless there is absolute eveidence to the contrary. I found myself asking if she really died on impact as I needed to NOT think of her lying alone in pain without her mama or anyone to help her. This the part where I need to change my view of the picture. The mother in me could not avoid traveling to that thought...

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I spent 11 years doing the paramedic thing, with 4 years as a combat medic. It sounds to me like you have it in perspective.

 

Bless you for doing the good the work.

 

--Hal

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Powerful stuff.

 

Haven't much to add other than my admiration to you and the job you are called to do.

 

It takes special people and you are one.

 

God bless, Mike

 

:I-Agree[1]: That is a job I know "I" could not do

 

Thank you for doing it.

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Thanks guys and Kim :) I am doing better with things now. A day or two removed can make alot of difference. I was able to take my bike out yesterday and hang with our friends at our local watering hole. Focused on our taxes today.

I got a little teary eyed when my friend stopped by with my little "niece". She is just five and a tiny wisp of dynamite. We adore her. I couldn't help but think of their vulnerability at that age.

The driver of the vehicle made the front page because some idiot thought that necessary. This kid was devestated. He was in his Coast Guard uniform so his name showed up. He was on the curbside with hat pulled low and his head in his hands sobbing. Whoever took the picture is a jackass and the editor must have no soul. For those of you who believe please pray for this young man.

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:huh: ....mebbe' a little old fashioned 'whoop ass' would help get the picture in proper perspective... ;)
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