Why Drink on the Job?

[porkchop]

Why Drink on the Job?

 

Because most jobs Suck. If you love your job, if the workday just flies by and you have to be dragged away from your desk at the end of the day, you don’t need alcohol. You need a psychiatrist. If you dread going to work, if the workday drags along like a crippled slug crawling across sandpaper, if clocking out feels like a jail door springing open, then a little booze can go a long way toward making a nightmarish death march of a shift seem a hop, skip and sip through a field of flowers.

 

You may wonder if you can actually perform your job while drinking, which is a ridiculous notion. Jackie Gleason threw together one of the greatest feats of television history (The Honeymooners) while fully in the bag. Alfred Hitchcock directed some of the finest movies ever committed to celluloid in between champagne breakfasts and gin-soaked lunches. So did Orson Welles. A prominent biographer estimates that Sir Winston Churchill spent the entirety of World War Two with a measurable amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. And if Sir Winston could survive the Blitz, rally a reeling nation and eventually whip up on millions of Nazis, surely you can throw together a spreadsheet by Friday.

 

The best reason for drinking on the job arrives with the realization that a quarter of our adult lives is ritualistically sacrificed to the cruel tyrant known as Working for a Living. For most of us, it’s something we have to do, but would rather not. Drinking, on the other hand, is something we choose to do, and would like to do more of. So why not invade that which we don’t like to do with that we very much like to do? Indeed, why not have the good times, for once, spill over into the bad. Eh, sir?

[Furyous]

Why Drink on the Job?

 

Because most jobs Suck. If you love your job, if the workday just flies by and you have to be dragged away from your desk at the end of the day, you don’t need alcohol. You need a psychiatrist. If you dread going to work, if the workday drags along like a crippled slug crawling across sandpaper, if clocking out feels like a jail door springing open, then a little booze can go a long way toward making a nightmarish death march of a shift seem a hop, skip and sip through a field of flowers.

 

You may wonder if you can actually perform your job while drinking, which is a ridiculous notion. Jackie Gleason threw together one of the greatest feats of television history (The Honeymooners) while fully in the bag. Alfred Hitchcock directed some of the finest movies ever committed to celluloid in between champagne breakfasts and gin-soaked lunches. So did Orson Welles. A prominent biographer estimates that Sir Winston Churchill spent the entirety of World War Two with a measurable amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. And if Sir Winston could survive the Blitz, rally a reeling nation and eventually whip up on millions of Nazis, surely you can throw together a spreadsheet by Friday.

 

The best reason for drinking on the job arrives with the realization that a quarter of our adult lives is ritualistically sacrificed to the cruel tyrant known as Working for a Living. For most of us, it’s something we have to do, but would rather not. Drinking, on the other hand, is something we choose to do, and would like to do more of. So why not invade that which we don’t like to do with that we very much like to do? Indeed, why not have the good times, for once, spill over into the bad. Eh, sir?

 

Get a job doing what you love and you'll never work a day in your life...

 

A millwright friend of mine told me this many years ago and I can't think of any other advice I have ever gotten that compares.

[whadayawant]

Why would anybody drink if they could smoke ? O.K. i DO BOTH.

[Falcon]

You must be young, most of us old fogeys figured that out a long time ago.....

[whadayawant]

Why thank you.

[charger]

Why Drink on the Job?

 

Because most jobs Suck. If you love your job, if the workday just flies by and you have to be dragged away from your desk at the end of the day, you don’t need alcohol. You need a psychiatrist. If you dread going to work, if the workday drags along like a crippled slug crawling across sandpaper, if clocking out feels like a jail door springing open, then a little booze can go a long way toward making a nightmarish death march of a shift seem a hop, skip and sip through a field of flowers.

 

You may wonder if you can actually perform your job while drinking, which is a ridiculous notion. Jackie Gleason threw together one of the greatest feats of television history (The Honeymooners) while fully in the bag. Alfred Hitchcock directed some of the finest movies ever committed to celluloid in between champagne breakfasts and gin-soaked lunches. So did Orson Welles. A prominent biographer estimates that Sir Winston Churchill spent the entirety of World War Two with a measurable amount of alcohol in his bloodstream. And if Sir Winston could survive the Blitz, rally a reeling nation and eventually whip up on millions of Nazis, surely you can throw together a spreadsheet by Friday.

 

The best reason for drinking on the job arrives with the realization that a quarter of our adult lives is ritualistically sacrificed to the cruel tyrant known as Working for a Living. For most of us, it’s something we have to do, but would rather not. Drinking, on the other hand, is something we choose to do, and would like to do more of. So why not invade that which we don’t like to do with that we very much like to do? Indeed, why not have the good times, for once, spill over into the bad. Eh, sir?

 

I'm Retired.......

[porkchop]

There was a time when drinking on the job was not only accepted, it was considered one of the major perks of joining the workforce.

 

Crew cut lads fresh from college would put aside their childish experimentations with wine and beer, join a respectable company, and start the business of learning how to belt hard liquor from the seasoned souses at work. It was a hell of a deal and explains why there were so few layabouts back then. Why lounge around in a bar, spending money, when you could get cockeyed on the clock while dollars rolled into your pocket?

 

Sadly, those grand days of paid guzzling have gone the way of the snap-brim fedora. The nogoodniks, in their undying effort to ensure no one has any fun at anytime, have made a pariah of the desk bottle. They have passed laws where it is not only illegal to drink on the job, it is illegal to drink before you even show up for work. They have rescued the workplace from being a place of happy production and joyful camaraderie to a depressing prison crowded with high-strung nannies and treacherous snitches.

 

Which is why the modern working lush has his work cut out for him. Instead of being a soused soldier among many others, he must operate as a secret operative always in peril of discovery and dismissal, continuously struggling to conceal the accent and mannerisms of his mother country. He will need every wile and legerdemain in his possession to pull it off. He must act with confidence. He must act with cunning. Most of all, he must act in utter secrecy.

[Travlur]

I think that if I had t' be retired, THEN I'd spend most m' time drinkin. Don't have the time now!

[Pop]

Get a job doing what you love and you'll never work a day in your life...

 

A millwright friend of mine told me this many years ago and I can't think of any other advice I have ever gotten that compares.

 

I started out as a millwright many years ago. I had to get away on accounta millwrights are as squirrelly as tinknockers and welders. Be wary of advice delivered by somebody sitting on a five gallon bucket.

[charger]

I think that if I had t' be retired, THEN I'd spend most m' time drinkin. Don't have the time now!

I just retired in may.......n TRUST ME,....ya got MORE schitt goin on AFTER ya retire...than ya EVER DID,...werk'n....imho

[BONMYI]

Be wary of advice delivered by somebody sitting on a five gallon bucket.

[/quoote]

 

Hey, that sounds like a HOROSCOPE we read someware... Thanks POP, Dave