Ok, so I know I'm going to sound callous and mean, and everything else, but I came home Saturday afternoon, and watched this movie on the discovery channel called Grizzly Man. This is a true story about Timothy Treadwell, a self-described Bear expert that spends about 13 summers "observing" grizzlies in Alaska. Now, apparently the goal is to help preserve them. How he is doing this actually eludes me, since he's doing the exact opposite of protecting them by intruding upon their territory. Needless to say, what spawned interest in this was the fact that he and his girlfriend got ate by one of the bears, and a video camera recorded all the horrific sounds of them getting mauled. I actually remember this when it made the news, because they played part of the tape, and it really got your heart racing. I mean, I put myself in that situation, listening to the screams of pain, and you can't help but be horrified by the whole scene. I mean, there are only a few serene ways to die, and being eaten by a grizzly definitely isn't one of them. In fact, it is the stuff nightmares are made of.
So, after watching this show, and seeing this Timothy dude do his little documentary, I couldn't help but think that he had a screw loose somewhere. I mean, I think bears are really cool, but, call me a pansy, I ain't hanging out with them.
Bears are big.
They have big claws.
They have big teeth.
They don't just eat honey.
I f they decide you look yummy, you're pretty much screwed, unless you happen to be carrying say, a .44 magnum, or some other large caliber gun, and you get the drop on it, before it gets the drop on you. Pretty simple, really. but, this guy had no form of protection, and relied on his...what? Respect of the bears? His bonding with them? In fact, I don't know how the dude lasted 13 seasons, except to say he must have been pretty lucky and figured out when to hold em, when to fold em, when to run. either way, when your luck runs out with a Grizzly, it's usually gonna be Real Bad for you.
After watching his video clips, it was clear that he did love the bears, and was fascinated by them. I do not think, as some would claim, that it was just a publicity stunt, although some psychologists may claim his ego had lots to do with this. Either way, he managed to steer away from bear trouble for awhile, but he was playing russian roulette. It was, no doubt, only a matter of time before the horrific would happen. I'm sad for the dude, because perhaps in his own deluded way he felt the bears would never do this to him. I think when you hang out with animals for a long time, you begin to think that they think like humans, and that you're owed respect from them. However, what I think happened is that yes, at first a bear will respect you. We are tall creatures, and bears will shy away from potential danger. He tempted fate, and let them get used to him, so sooner or later,a bear's curiosity (or hunger) will pique, and bingo. It's peanut butter Timmy time.
I love bears. they're magnificent animals that deserve our respect and awe. Part of that respect is the understanding that a bear can eat you if it chooses, and probably won't give you the courtesy of telling you. It''ll pretty much just roar, and pounce. No logic, no talking the bear out of eating you, cause it's hungry, and has a long winter ahead, and one human will satisfy a bear more than ten or twenty salmon, I'd reckon. I wonder if he experienced a epiphany of sorts, like "...Woah, what the fuck was I thinking? I'm trying to relate to fucking BEARS, for christsakes, and now I'm getting eaten alive....I shoulda stayed in acting school and did a few broadway plays...damn, what was I thinking? This really hurts...Ouch, there goesmy lower intestine...damn, I'm a fucking moron."
Nope. knowing people like this dude, he thought more like "Hey, this isn;t fair!! I was nice to these bears, they shouldn;t eat me! I'm pone of them, and trying to save them...ungrateful fuckers! Ouch!! Hey, you bad bears, how COULD you, after all I've done for you!!!"
Yep...I Bet 'ol crazy Timmy was a Liberal whiny, bed-wetting liberal.