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Why I have Gray Hair.....


TitanChief

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I'm the father of two teenage daughters, that's why.

(Boink!)

(Boinkity-Boink!)

(Boink! Boink! Boink!)

Hear that? That's the sound of my gray hair sprouting every few seconds now. When I first noticed my gray hair sprouting, I actually took some pride (Boink!) in the fact. I thought I looked sophisticated and debonaire. However (Boink!Boink!) lately I'm realizing that the gray is really just stress manifest physically, and the direct cause is raising two (Boink!) daughters.

You think I'm (Boink!) exaggerating, but I have proof, I tells ya! I was looking at my(Boink!) picture when I was in my early thirties, and I can say with confidence(Boink!) that you cannot see a gray hair evident whatsoever. I'm not saying they weren't (Boink!) there,they were muted, is all. In fact, I remember the day I(Boink!) found my first Gray..I was 31 and saw it when I got a haircut at (Boink!) Fantastic Sams.

I love going(Boink!) to Fantastic Sams not just because of the haircut per se, but because you get the wash as well, which is like getting a free massage with your haircut. Man, I dig that! When they cut your hair, they wrap you(Boink!) in a black cape-type-thing to protect you from getting hair all over(Boink!) your self (which no matter what, it still does). When the stylist starts snipping and gabbing about innane topics, big gobs of hair fall on this black cape which is just looking for a contrast, and let me tell ya, gray is quite a contrast to black. So, I look down at the hair-covered cape and BAM! There they are....

Not brown.

Not brownish-blonde.

Blatant gray hairs (Boink!) lying there mocking me in cold, indifferent defiance, as if to say "Welcome to the gray years. We'll be your gray hairs for the duration of your life,(Boink!) and even when you cut us, we'll just come back in greater numbers. We are like the Star Trek Borg, and resistance is futile!"

As I said I was actually okay with the gray-thing for awhile, and didn't think about it much. then one day, when my oldest daughter Stefanie was up to shenanigans, I actually felt (Boink!) the gray pop up and suddenly realized that there was a(Boink!) direct correlation between children's shenanigan rates and gray hair outbreak rates.

On my 40th (Boink! Boink!) Birthday bash Alyssa brought over a "boyfriend." this was the first boyfriend I had to deal with and as short lived(Boink!) as it was it managed to crop a series of scraggly gray hair.

Stefanie could've(Boink!) graduated High School in December, but she wanted to stay because of a dipshit boy. So, rather than think things through, she purposely failed economics so(Boink!) she'd have to take it over again. That little episode managed to send a new capret of gray in the sideburns and the 'ol whiskers.

Alyssa managed to have a very nasty alergic reaction to something that called for an ambulance ride. that gave my head a nice salt shake.

You may ask, "So, Keith, if your theory(Boink!) is true, wouldn't you look like Steve Martin by now?" Ah ha!, I believe that would be true, but I also know there are "Browning" events that counteract the Gray events.

The day I watched Stefanie march in her High School Band playing her trombone.

The Day I watched Alyssa compete with her water Polo team.

The day Stefanie landed a major part in the school play, and nailed it!

The day Stefanie enrolled full time into college.

The dayAlyssa graduated 11th grade with a 4.0 average.

Our ongoing ritual of Father/Daughter date nights.

Anytime I ride my Scoot.

Anytime Tina is with me.

 

The thing is,(Boink!)even though the gray is there, I still got my "brown days", and they still outweigh the gray days. Sooner than later, that will not be the case, and that's ok.

that's what "Grecian Formula" is for!

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